Right from the outset, the six-page document laying out the “Green New Deal” seemed like a joke, something a few devious wags in the Republican Party whipped up to parody an expansive environmental plan conjured up by Democratic Socialist Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.
The first words in the document put together by Ms. Ocasio-Cortez to explain the congressional resolution are “Overview — We will begin work immediately on Green New Deal bills to put the nuts and bolts on the plan described in this resolution (important to say so someone else can’t claim this mantle).”
“Important to say so someone else can’t claim this mantle?” Were these simply notes? Who edited this thing?
But after reading the full document, it all began to become clear: Apparently, a sixth-grader was given a homework assignment that read: “What would you do if you had a gazillion dollars to make the world shiny and perfect?”
In a nutshell, here’s what the grandiose Green New Deal (GND) calls for: The abolition of “every combustion-engine vehicle,” no more airplanes (you’ll have to take a train to Europe), retrofitting of every building in America to make them all compliant with new energy conservation laws, and, of course, the destruction (finally) of all those “farting cows.”
Yes, “farting cows” is actually in the document. “We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast,” the document says.